Two or One?

My family has been bothering me about when I'm going to come back to Bakersville so today I packed up and headed home. Now I'm wondering why I came back as I could just as easily be in Asheville doing the same thing. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

This morning I lay in bed for a long time. I finally got up and had a bagel for breakfast. Matthew got home late this morning from work. We read some in our book on Chinese culture and history. We decided to go and give notice on our apartment today. I guess this is motivation for us to find jobs in China and buy plain tickets. Part of me really wanted to give notice and the other part of me feels like I leaving my home. I've come to think of my apartment as home. It feels like it is mine. I don't know if I will have that for a while. In China a won't have my books or my orchids. I know that I will make it mine but it feels funny giving notice before I really have solid plans yet. Something that bothers me is that to show our apartment they only have to give us 2 hours notice. That means that Matthew and I have to be neater than we normally are. I guess that is like good luck, it is going to be a mess.

I thought I was going to leave Asheville at noon but then when I realized my parents and brothers weren't going to be home until much later I decided to stay and collect things from my apartment to bring home. It was a good thing for me to do as now I have less stuff to do later, and it was just laying around anyway. The drive back was interesting. I had to drop some books off at the library so I went down Merrimon avenue and I almost got hit but I truck pulling on. It looked like it was driven by a little kid. That frustrated me. Then I got behind a really slow car on the way into Burnsville and then when they turned off there was another slow car that I followed all the way to Spruce Pine. It was really good timing on my part as my family got home right after I did. Ruff is a mighty hunter and he has a war wound from the last opossum he killed. We don't encourage him to kill them but he really hates them and goes for them.

We had to come to Papa's tonight to cook dinner. It is kind of sad being here. My Grandfather thinks that there are two cats in his house and he only has one. The other cat looks exactly like his cat but it isn't his cat. In some ways I would really rather not come. My dad is really stressed out my mom gets emotional and my brothers and I try and understand what my grandfather is saying. I don't understand him and he can hear me or understand me. When I went to ask Carol if she wanted dinner, she yelled at me. I then asked her if she wanted help and she yelled at me again. Now, why did I come home? I'm asking myself this over and over again. I'm not talking with my brothers they are on their computers. When I did talk to Erik it was because he was complaining about how he still doesn't have his luggage. That is really a bummer but why he hasn't borrowed clothes from my dad is beyond me. I view my mom's closet as an extension of mine when I'm home, not that I like most of her clothes. Erik has a beard now which is really strange. He looks funny. He is supposed to be my little brother which means he shouldn't have a beard.

Because Carol yelled at me and I don't really see the point in being here I'm wondering why I came home today. I should have stayed in Asheville and gotten more stuff done there. I really need to find a job in China and I know that if I keep searching I will find it. I like being able to talk with Matthew about what I find. All I have now is the sound of cards filling across the screen as my dad plays spider solitaire on the TV. I think we will be going home soon though which is nice. I have a cold bed and a cold room waiting for me. I'm just wondering how long I'm going to make once all of the family arrives. My aunt, Carol will remain in a tissy as long as her kids are here it is a bummer for all of us that she gets so out of sorts when they come to visit. She cares for them but it seems like she doesn't know how to express it in a positive way.

BJ just came up and stuck his face in my face. He rubbed my nose. It is kind of terrifying at the same time it is kind of nice. I know that his history suggests that he might bight my nose off at any moment though. Poor kitty has a bad reputation. I have to say though that he has worked himself up to it and he kind of deserves it. Well I've said way more than I should and way less than I could.